Developing Stillness and Quiet in Our Busy Lives - A Dynamic Soft Skill

Many people have found the answer to this in disciplines like, for example, meditation, yoga and tai chi. Trying these by doing some short courses with experienced teachers is highly recommended. This give us a sense of whether it is something that resonates with us.

If this is all new to you, however, that may be too much of a leap. You may need to take smaller steps as you test whether what is being said here will really make a difference to your life.

Why Do It?

The world in which we live and work is complex and challenging. It is the same world in which our clients live and work. Yet, they expect us, the professional to not only have excellent technical skills but also to have skills that will help them negotiate the complexity of their lives and work for them, show them the way through, provide certainty where there is none and produce clarity from ambiguity.

That is a pretty tall order. Of course, most of us cannot do it. We can, however, take that responsibility seriously and do everything we can to bring focus and clarity to our work with our clients. That is a highly developed soft skill.

We can achieve this by making "being" with ourselves something we value and practice. When we do we slow down the busyness in our heads, our bodies and our lives so that we can clear out the unimportant, what is left is what is most valued. It is also the source of our inner power. Living from out of that space makes an enormous difference to our life.

People who make time to be still and quiet

• do tend to feel more energised.
• get more done in less time.
• find they are not as busy, even though they are doing the same job.
• are more at peace with themselves.
• achieve more both professionally and financially.
• connect and engage with their families, friends and clients in a much more meaningful way.

Where Do We Begin?

There are a couple of really basic things we can do that make a big difference if we take them seriously and do them consistently.

When we recognise we are in "doing" mode and fragmented by it, we need to stop and move into "being" mode.

We can do that by slowing our breathing down, focussing on it and breathing away whatever tension is in our bodies. When the tension is gone or under our control, we then connect with our breathing and let it take us where it will.

James' Experience - All of Us with Children have been Here.

A good example of how this can make a great difference is the story James told me recently. He was late for work because his adolescent son would not get out of bed to go to school. When he did get up he had missed the bus and James then drove him to school, but not before they had had a verbal stoush. While he was driving from the school to work his son phoned him on his mobile to say he had no lunch so James turned around and took him back some money to buy his lunch. Next time James says he will leave him to take responsibility for his own actions, but this time this was how it was. It did not end there because, now late, James was booked for speeding. By the time he gets to the car park at work he is drained, frustrated, fragmented and very stressed. It is only 9.30 a.m. He just wanted to turn around and go home because he believed that the day was going to be a productivity disaster!

He remembered a workshop he had been at with me where we had talked about the "two-minute stress breaker" so he thought he would try it.

• He sat in the car in the car park and closed his eyes and slowed his breathing right down.
• With every outward breath he let go of everything that had happened with his son that morning, breathed it out, emptied himself of it all.
• He then began to let positive, energising messages flow through his mind. "In a minute, I am going to get out of the car and go into work. I am not going to let what has happened this morning impact on my day. I am energised, focussed and I am going to bring the best of everything I have to offer to my work and my clients."
• He kept repeating it over and over for a few minutes, all the time focussing on his breathing, slowing it down, letting go of the tension within him.
• He then got out of the car, went inside and did exactly what he verbalised. It worked "brilliantly", he said. He could not believe that something that took no more than a couple of minutes could have such a profound effect.

When James arrived home from work that night, he did the same thing before he got out of the car to go into the house. He wanted to leave what had happened with his son that morning behind and go inside and greet his son from out of his energised space.

James is now sold on this and uses it frequently in his very busy work-life.