I know from talking with many women over many years that much of what I am going to say here is very difficult for them. Some are quite indignant that they have to engage in what they believe is a game. In many ways it is, but as someone else has said, we have to play the game to change the game.Karen Mitchell from Kalmor Consulting, who consults to women about career success, says that many of us as women make the wrong assumption in believing that if we work really hard we will be successful. Rather, she said, the key to success for the corporate woman is knowing the rules of the game. She said that we may not like it, and we don’t have to agree with it, but we need to work out how to play the game without losing our souls. Here are some ideas I’ve put together. It’s not a comprehensive or inclusive list, but rather some ideas and strategies that I, and other women, have found helpful. Wherever you are on the ladder of success, there is something here for you.Read More
It was a privilege last week to be interviewed for this podcast by Joanne Law from the Mediation Institute. Its regular podcast has generally been about specific mediation issues, but Joanne has been engaging with people like myself to provide mediators with a broader perspective of ideas that will further enhance the skills and insights of mediators. In this wide-ranging interview we discussed empowerment and being an empowered and empowering person, soft skills and what they mean, the importance of reflection and self-awareness among ofther issues.Read More
Stress creeps up on us. We often know we are approaching overwhelm, but we are highly competent professionals and we tell ourselves we can work through it. “As soon as I complete this project things will get better”. “I have holidays coming up in 2 months time. I can get through to then.” “I wanted this job so much I can’t let them know that I’m almost at breaking point.” We don’t believe we have any other choice but to keeping working at this level of stress.
But……if we don’t take control of our stress it will take control of us. The least damaging result is that we break down in tears one day at work, or collapse momentarily from exhaustion and have to go home. The worst outcome is we have a heart attack or stroke. That’s the ultimate act of stress taking control of us.Read More
Supervision It has been seen as mandatory for many decades in many human service professions. It is understood and expected that human service organisations will provide it and/or that practitioners will seek it out. In recent years, however, there have been increasing numbers of organisations working in the human service sector, who traditionally didn’t prioritise supervision for their staff, that have begun to recognise its value and now require their staff to engage in it on a regular basis. Most of these people are already highly experienced and while their organisations may want “Professional Supervision” put on the tax invoice, they actually don’t need to be “supervised”. What I have offered these people, over 25+ years is what I call “Consultative Supervision”, a process by which they consult with me about their work. It much more resembles a mentoring process than it does traditional supervision. It is a collegial and collaborative relationship that is highly confidential.Read More
It’s a new year, a new beginning. You hopefully have had at least a short break. You should be refreshed, but are you recharged – recharged physically with loads of energy and recharged emotionally with a positive and pro-active mindset. If you aren’t then I’m writing for you because the most detrimental…Read More
While reading the Melbourne Age online this morning, I see a Liberal National Party Staffer has been put on “indefinite leave” for texting an expletive-laden tirade to a female journalist who recently criticised a federal MP Senator Barry O’Sullivan. In responding the Deputy Prime Minister, Michael McCormack stated it was sent “accidentally and inadvertently” to the reporter when it was actually intended for a friend. While the staffer has apologised, what has been said cannot be erased.
How often do we see this today? Angry, overwrought, stressed and highly emotional people resorting on the spur of the moment to vent their feelings, generally apologising sometime later. But what has been said in haste cannot be taken back.
We constantly hear stories like the one above. People in organisations brawling back and forth by email. Again too often in their highly emotional, non-rational state, accidentally sending it to the wrong person, then it circulating around the building, becoming the latest reality show in the building.
We can change this. We can learn to respond in professional ways. The recent research into the brain and how it manages our emotions tells us how.
It’s only two small words but they make a world of difference. In fact, they can change people’s lives and change the world in which we live. However more often than not we haven’t time to say them. Of course, I’m talking about those two words – “Thank You”.
We live our lives on a frantic freeway, always racing, never time to stop. It’s a 7 day working week nowadays.
With all this rush and tear of modern life, we do not have time anymore for some of the most important things in life – valuing and appreciating one another, showing gratitude, acknowledging the goodness of people, giving one another the positive feedback that makes us feel valuable, important and worthwhile – and saying “thank you”.
It was Richard Branson who said that for every hour of exercise he does, he gets an extra 4 hours of productivity. Who wouldn’t want to be as productive, have as much energy, achieve as much and be as successful as he is? He does know what he is talking about.
Any of us who exercise on a regular basis would agree with him.
Exercise gets our hearts pumping. It sends fresh oxygen streaming through our bodies. It enlivens us. Rather than making us tired, it energises us. It clears our heads and brings clarity of mind. It focuses us. It keeps our bodies young and strong. There is increasing evidence that it protects us from a whole range of diseases.
So why, when we know exercise brings increased energy and productivity, do so few of us do it?Read More
Do you believe in yourself? Do you, yourself, have a multitude of limiting beliefs standing in the way of your success? Do you need to take your foot off the brake and play a bigger game than the one you are playing now?
If you have dreams and aspirations, if you know you have so much talent and ability but fear to put it out there, to test it out in the marketplace of ideas and opinions, you are playing small. Why? Because you worry that maybe you will fall short of other’s expectations, that you will receive embarrassing critiques, that someone will deflate your dream or idea or opinion in one foul swoop.
So what do you do? You stay safe. You become the person who everyone says is “such a lovely person” or “a great guy”, the one everyone likes. You become the one your CEO says is “an enormous asset to our organisation”, the one “the organisation would be lost without”, yet you haven’t received a promotion or a new opportunity offered to you in the last 3 years.
So what’s happening here?Read More
So many of us live our lives not believing in ourselves, doubting our capabilities.
Maybe we were told at school that we’d never amount to anything.
Maybe someone constantly called us “stupid”. Maybe after a while we believed them and we’re still believing them decades later.
But for some of us someone came along and changed all that. Someone came into our life who believed in us more than we believed in ourselves.
Someone saw our strengths, our talent and our potential.
You can be that person for someone else. You can change the direction of someone’s life.